TALES OF A HOPELESS ROMANTIC (Ep 8)

 We began talking about all the arguments we had, from September, all through to December to March. A long call, which lasted almost a whole day was had, like some conference call. It felt like the pieces were slowly falling into place and we began being adults, solving our domestic issues. It may have taken some time for us to finally agree but we eventually did.

I remember it was the day before his birthday, and he was to do a live on IG. I was chill with the idea, but I was beat and wasn't sure I would make it, but I promised to be there, because it was his birthday, duh! He wanted me to like be live with him, but in my head I'm just tired so I kind of refused.

(By this time the clowning attire hasn't been worn)

By 10.30pm, I was heading to bed, or rather my mind was beckoning me to sleep, when he texted me, "Hey, I've changed my mind...why don't we do a zoom call?"

Say what? A zoom call, with me? I mean, why not, why ask? All the sleep amassed miraculously got some wings and flew to an unknown land. I made myself be presentable, and my excitement grew, which translated to being nervous. Just seeing him for the first time gave me the shivers and butterflies. This will be awkward, and hopefully fun at the same time.

At 12 midnight, the zoom call began, and I just laughed. (I laugh to ease tension) and he asked me why I laughed. My automatic response was, "Can't I be happy?"

We talked, as if the conference call wasn't enough. The last hour of talking was when things got serious. 

"So, we good?"
"Yeah, I believe so, what do you think?"
"So long as you're happy, then I am happy."

Silence.

"Do you think we can get back together?" he asked. "You're the one who broke up with me anyway."

Well, I knew I shouldn't be entertaining this convos but my heart wanted things to go back to normal. But what he said, I'm the one who broke up with him, was just so wrong, remember, he initially started it.

"This was...all a test." he said.

"A...test, how, why, for what purpose?"

"I just really wanted to find out whether you for reals loved me." In my head once again, I asked myself, does this guy (Lowkey said mf) trust me?

"And..."

"I know you do, I thought it was all over if you wouldn't text again after you unblocked me. I gave you 48hrs, which worked. But the whole thing was just a test. I didn't know it was going to mess with everything." did he actually say that. No words.

"I...I...wouldn't mind getting back with you." I stammered out.

"So, you propose this time." my spirit was crying, no, don't do this, just don't! But I backslid, thinking that things will slide back to normal. I proposed, with my clowning outfit on, and he said yes. I took a deep breath within me, and prayed that this will not be a goddamn mistake I have made. I'm sure the Lord above was just like, well look at this one, life will truly slap some reality checks! I'm now officially a true clown, and I will come to regret that, weeks, not even months later!

How can someone who has been hurt, does not say it, smiles through it, and wishes that it never happens again...go back to the very source of hurt? Especially when the source of hurt is someone who you thought has changed? I never got to ask myself these critical questions, because my heart was happy. The cute name calling is back along with packages of I love you.