TALES OF A HOPELESS ROMANTIC (Epilogue)

The on and off convos kind of continued (because they weren't addressed) and of course I was getting more and more pissed, holding in frustration like how one would blow into a balloon, gradually getting bigger and bigger. But I had something to look forward to, and that's starting uni!!! Although it was all online, it was still thrilling to finally be in this highly talked about uni!

Anyway, back to this...

I had earlier asked him to buy me earphones because someone at home snapped mine (but why be so evil tho?) and we had been planning for the longest time when and how I'll get them. With now online classes, I'll definitely need them, so we agreed to meet over the weekend in the CBD to collect them.

So Saturday arrives and I leave the house, to get them, and to get some hair essentials too. I reached town before him, so I went ahead to get my stuff. I don't know why, but that day I felt some wrong vibe about to erupt. I couldn't pinpoint from where, but yeah. As I finish paying at the last shop, the guy calls and says that he's arrived and tells me where he's standing at.

Again, I don't know why but my legs were dragging themselves to him. On a normal day I'd be running through the sea of people to see my boo, my bae...but today they didn't even feel like walking.

We meet and greet each other, then he gave me my earphones. I tried them (very good quality) and I was happy. We had real small talk, with me averting my gaze from his, because I'm just getting more and more uncomfortable. Now my stomach was churning in agony, like a hungry and irritated person, and I felt like an anxiety attack was coming. Actually it did and I lost myself from the present for like 25 seconds, the next thing I'm sijui on the other side of town, downtown actually. I snapped and realized that my stage is waaaaaay behind and I'm still with him. Confused I told him that my stage was behind...behind, and he took me there. All I can clearly remember was him constantly asking me if I'm ok, and when I replied it seemed like I was being rude. We reach my stage and coz that day it was his mom's birthday I asked him to pass my birthday wishes to her, instead he gives me her number so that I do it directly. SMH!

I honestly didn't know that at that point that it will be my last time I was setting my eyes on him. Probably till my death.

Our last conversation was basically about God vs. money, more of which helps make life easier. He was on the side of money, saying that money brings happiness. I didn't entirely disagree, because I mean you can access a lot of things that make you comfy and happy. But with that view, it kind of brings greediness, coz the more money you have, honestly, the more you want. But with God, he's just enough. Perfect serving. And that was the basis of the argument, which lasted all evening. I became the last to text and he didn't reply, which meant he's either given up and has nothing to say...or he's fallen asleep.

The next day, Sunday, we didn't talk. As I said, this isn't bizarre, we don't even talk on Sundays, we're all busy with our own things, and no one had a problem.

Monday came, passed. No reply. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday!!!!! On Friday I was kidogo shook, coz I didn't really notice we didn't talk from Sunday, I had school on my mind 90% of the time. On Saturday I was getting anxious...maybe he got into an accident, or he's gotten terribly sick!! What kind of girlfriend am I, I should be checking on him rynow!!! 

Before I sent a text in the morning, my girl (remember in the prologue I mentioned her, she's the same one I'm talking about) said that I don't text him, because if he cared, he could have texted, or sent someone to tell me what is going on. I admitted that whatever behaviour he's exhibiting is kind of not him. He knows how anxious I get when we don't talk everyday, so...why the weird long silence?! It was getting toxic, and I had to text him, later that night. Even after the repeated warnings from her, I just had to. 

"Hey, how have you been? I really hope you're ok."

No reply, AGAIN!!! Sunday, Monday passed. And I got pretty irritated. Super irritated! I wish we were chatting on WhatsApp, ningejua if he's playing me or he's actually in bad shape!

So on Tuesday I'm highly concerned, dying with tension and furiously texted 

"I'm very concerned. Are you fine?" 

Ok, from someone else's point of view, they may have spammed the inbox. Bruh, I don't work like that. He replies sometime later in the evening. 

"I'm doing fine." Phew, what a relief. So I prod some more,

"How's life?"

"What do you mean, 'how's life'...life's great." Oh, ok. Great. Was expecting worse. This made my senses more aware than ever. My level of pissment was about to hit 100°C so I told him that's great and decided to leave him alone, because, he seems fine, he doesn't need me or my existence. But before I could, he drops the worst bombshell,

"Mi naona tuachane." (I think we should end this)

"Why?" I asked, partly shocked that he's asked. 

"Si coz like that, things aren't working out."

"What do you mean things aren't working out?" I'm asking while I'm the one with the gut feeling.

"Si just like that..."

At that point, I wanted to now give out the solution I have been thinking about the whole 3 days. I was ready to apologize for not psychologically being available and being so busy and I was willing to make up for lost time. I figured out a way that we don't have to talk everyday but still stay connected. Have weekend convos and I concentrate on school the whole week. It sounded decent on me, and he better understand because I'm the one in school now. And it can work for him, to remove the pressure of calling and texting me everyday. Win-win for everyone! 

GHAFLA BIN VUU!!!! (SUDDENLY!!!) Out of no-where...

I can't remember how he framed this but it was something like "Na we na beshte yako muwache kunitusi." (You and your friend should stop insulting me)

Say what? Bruh, when did this ever happen? So I asked what on earth he's alluding to. Brother took me round and here I am on the other side trying to remember this incident. He's thinking that I know about it and feel guilty, but I insist on him just explaining coz I don't gerrit!

 So he eventually explains that there was a day I posted, normalize kuondokea upuzi (walk away from stupidity) and my friend saw that and was like, walk away from our friend group? Impossible!! Then I laughed and took a screenshot of our convo, cropped out the irrelevant part and posted the relevant part on my WhatsApp status.

Now my friend group share the same initials with the same uni he's in, and the way the message was framed it looked like we were talking about someone. But in truth and honestly, it was referring to our friend group, even if a lot of upuzi has been going on between us. The last thing on earth is to wash someone's dirty linen in public. I hold peeps in high regard. I don't do that, unless we're so homies that it's normal to throw shade on each other publicly. Them guy overthought and instead of coming to me for clarification about it, he decided to keep quiet and cut off all links with me. (mind you this is a post I put up 2 weeks ago)

So he goes on to vent and he's like the way he felt disrespected and humiliated and he didn't expect it to come from me specially coz I'm his girlfriend...bruh the way I fumed!!!! Being accused falsely is the most painful feeling, it's like being shot through your lungs and heart. It sucks the air out of you and leaves you in a state of shock. The icing on the cake, brother had deleted my number. And that was my cue to start packing. Brother didn't even give a decent apology, whatever he said was an apology was so scanty and forced, so I kept quiet.

Them guy doesn't trust me, to that extent!!! Wow!!! If it's like that, then I can't marry a guy who doesn't trust me...in addition to so many things, which I put in my farewell speech. I even sent a screenshot of my friend group and a pic of the group. I couldn't take it anymore and left the relationship.

For the first time, my dopamine levels increased, which translated to my day being full of energy. Lemme not lie, I never felt so free my entire life. I could think clearly, I don't know how to explain this feeling. Maybe some days I feel horrible about how things ended, bur I'm guilt free and worry free.

Wherever he is...may his current girl make him damn happy. I have a strong feeling he was figuring out ways of getting me out without him being the cause of my heartbreak. Unfortunately he wasn't man enough to tell me that. Why I have that hunch is because of the way he kept on referring to 2 girls in particular, his neighbour and his former primary school classmate. To be honest, I didn't care if all the girls in the world loved him. The choice would be entirely his if he was planning to do anything to hurt me or himself. I mean, I'm no police to anyone.

Hello reader,

Thank you for reaching this far in reading! We've reached the end of season 1 of Tales of a Hopeless Romantic!!! So glad you read my dramatic story till the end!! Feel free to comment your thoughts about this season, what I can improve on and all that.

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